Positive February

For the last two years I have felt really motivated in January embarking on Janathon as a way to kickstart my fitness journey. For those of you who have never heard of Janathon, you are encouraged to exercise and then blog about it daily for the whole month and if January is too cold then you can also give it a go in June too. This year I am afraid to admit that I have been lazier and greedier than I have been in a very long time and I have done absolutely no exercise. Janathon is a great way to get you moving but I decided that it wasn’t the way I wanted to approach things this year. Exercise is important but I have learned that it is also important to give your body adequate rest too. I can be a woman of extremes and I’ve most definitely taken the rest days to a different level in the last month. Don’t get me wrong, I have been busy with other things such as work and eating it seems, but this is where it stops!

In my experience I have found that February can be pretty miserable. No more gloss of the fresh start of a new year, resolutions well and truly forgotten and cold miserable weather that is no longer a novelty. Yes snow, I’m talking about you! You were fun when you first arrived, we all built snowmen, went for family walks and bored everybody on every social media channel with as many photos as we could possibly take.  So please, no more until next year because the frozen grey sludge just makes everything that little bit harder.

 

I’m not big on New Year resolutions. I’m a lady who likes to work towards goals and I continually stop to check in on my progress. I feel strongly that every day is a new day so why wait until Monday, next month or next year to make changes! I’m very, very aware that I can’t go on the way I have been in January. I’m not beating myself up about it. I’ve enjoyed slowing down a little, eating naughty food and being a little lazy but I’ve got things I want to do and goals I want to achieve.

The first challenge on my radar is the Paris Half Marathon. It was my very first big running challenge nearly two years ago and I am excited about going back. If you want to read about the first time round check out this post. I’ve neglected my training recently but I am confident that I can pick it back up. Training is very important but in my experience positive attitude is just as important as I found out when I ran my first marathon last year.  I will be running regularly and I am going to start back on the Spartanfam homework videos every morning and evening. Me and my Lycra are going to become very familar with my lounge floor. When training for the Berlin half last year, I really noticed an improved fitness level by doing these regularly. I am going to try and document my training to help motivate me and maybe I will motivate others in the process. The pressure to blog when doing Janathon makes it harder to not exercise.  

 

 

 

For those of you who follow me on Twitter or Instagram you will know I’m a bit of a foodie when I flood your timelines with dinner pics. Sorry if it’s not your thing but it is mine. I like good, healthy food with colour. No anaemic beige food for this girl! I am going to share some of my favourite recipes in the next few months and I’m also going to try and cook as many new things as possible. I love to experiment and try new foods.  I don’t have lots of spare time but there are definitely ways to eat healthily if you get yourself organised.  Diet is so important when you are training. I realised this when I was training for my marathon. Once you start running for more than a couple of hours, you notice that your body really needs the right fuel.

I’m also going to be doing a sponsored walk with my family in March to raise funds for the Royal Marsden.  TheMarsden March will take place on 17^th March and the route will take us 14 miles from the Royal Marsden Hospital in Chelsea to the Royal Marsden in Sutton. This is a really big deal for my family, especially for those who didn’t even own a pair of trainers until we signed up. My 4 year old niece Ciana has been very poorly as some of you know and we want to acknowledge her amazing bravery and courage as well as show our thanks for the fantastic care she has received. She is out of hospital at the moment but still has a way to go. I think it’s really important to stick together with friends and family and show support and thanks.  If you’d like to make a donation, no matter how small, you can go to www.justgiving.com/princessciana ( Apologies that the page isn’t prettied up yet but there seems to be some kind of glitch with the system and it won’t allow me to update it to include her story or photo).

My next focus is my beauty routine. I am a beauty junkie and love nothing more than a new product, as anybody that has visited my home will know.   I have a regular routine when it comes to my face but I tend to neglect my body so I am going to make an effort to do more at home pampering. I have the products, I just need to make the time. I work, live and breathe beauty and I am going to try and share some of my experiences. Because I’ve always had an interest, I forget that some people are really out of their depth when it comes to shopping for beauty products. I’ve always had problem skin and I don’t want to speak too soon but it’s better now than it has been in a long time. I’m no expert but it may be useful to some people and I love the chance to talk about beauty in any capacity. Up until now I’ve tended to avoid it on here as the running took over but it’s time to get some glamour back in my life. I’m not just about trainers and lycra!  

In the last two years I’ve experienced a lot emotionally. It has made me realise that life is short, life is precious and things can chance in a second so appreciate everything that you have. February can be miserable but life is what you make if it. Starting from now I am going to make a conscious effort to be more positive in all aspects of my life. I will be using the hashtag #positivefeb to remind me this month but I don’t plan on turning into a glass half empty grump in March. Feel free to join me and let me know what you’ve been up to and any positive changes that you make.

 

Crying makes me look like a frog!

The last few months I have cried enough tears to make my own lake and crying is far more complex than I initially realised. Humans can cry three kinds of tears. Reflex tears are those that keep our eyes lubricated, basal tears are the annoying ones caused by irritants like onions and emotional tears are, as you’ve probably guessed, caused by emotional triggers. Only humans are reported to cry emotional tears.  Though animals can howl in distress, as humans we are the only animals that actually shed tears of sorrow.

 Each type of tear contains a different composition of hormones and proteins.  According to some clever, scientific folk, emotional tears contain higher levels of manganese and the hormone prolactin.  The release of these chemicals when you cry, is said to keep depression at bay and calm us and may be the reason a good cry can sometimes make you feel better.  

It’s true that a good old crying session can make things feel like they’re ok again but cry after cry after cry just makes me feel worn out and ugly to be honest. It’s quite shocking what these prolonged crying sessions can do for your looks. I actually looked like a cartoon frog a couple of weekends ago because my eyelids were so swollen from way too many tears. This rather attractive condition is known as periorbital puffiness and is just water retention caused by the sodium in your tears.  Logical, yes but definitely not attractive. It took a good couple of days for the swelling to subside.

I’m not usually such a crier but 2011 has been tough. I don’t want any sympathy but feel I owe it to a few people to explain some of the things that have been happening over the last few months. My normally chirpy tweets have been sad of late and I haven’t really been myself. I really appreciate the messages of concern that I have had and the support from those around me.  I am also fully aware that there are people with problems far worse than mine out there and I am not crawling for sympathy. I am an honest person and just like to explain myself.

Back in January on the first day back to work after the long Christmas break, I bumped into my Dad whilst out on a morning run. It was a surprise meeting and neither of us expected to see one another. I had just started my Team Bangs training and was raring to go but I had that horrible back to school, Sunday night fear feeling, multiplied by a million. I could have done without Dad blurting out that Mum thought he was having an affair. To cut a long story short there were lots of tears and it materialised that Dad had a new lady friend that he had been going for coffee with. It was purely a platonic relationship apparently. He insisted this was the case on numerous occasions.

Nobody but my parents and myself knew of this little hiccup and I played mini marriage counsellor for a few months. I have to say, it’s really strange seeing your parents in a different light. It can almost be compared to when you have a house party when your parents are away and the house is at its most vulnerable. You never quite see it in the same light and it always feels a little different. Parents are only human but you look up to them.  It was strange being in the middle of these intimate conversations, seeing them both upset and vulnerable and trying to advise them both of stuff I have no place to be advising them on. I’ve never been married and couldn’t even begin to imagine how they were feeling but all I knew is that they loved each other.  Mum and Dad decided not to tell my brother and sister so by default I had to tell a few fibs to keep it from them. For me this was a real challenge as I am a rubbish liar. My mum is amazing and the reason she asked me not to say anything was because she didn’t want my siblings to think badly of my Dad.

 A few things I ought to explain to put this blog post in to context. My family are very normal (whatever that means) and very close. Mum and Dad have been together for over 35 years and as far as everybody that knows us is concerned, we are very much the happy family with no dramas. This is Mum and Dad on their wedding day and I love this picture. When they met Mum was 15 and by the time she was 19 they were married. A true love story!

Fast forward a few months and it becomes clear that Dad and his friend are still talking although my mum has expressed, understandably, that she doesn’t want him to have contact with her if they are to concentrate on making their marriage work. Mum and Dad still continue to work at it and I keep running, training for my half marathon in Paris. Not all of 2011 has been bad and training with the Team Bangs ladies definitely kept me sane for a few months.

In March my four year old niece (daughter of my sister) was rushed into hospital with severe asthma and a shadow on her lung. Seeing her wired up to medication and oxygen was shocking. Just as we thought she was improving and she was sent home she had another attack, turned blue and we had to call an ambulance for her. This went on for 8 weeks, back and forth to A&E with no answers to what was causing her condition. It was so stressful. Meanwhile my Dad’s birthday and Mother’s Day happened and my siblings and I paid for our parents to go away on holiday. I was desperate for them to spend quality time together without the stresses of home but it wasn’t meant to be and as they were driving to the airport my niece had another attack meaning that they turned round to be there for my sister and their granddaughter. We are a close family and going away at a time like that was simply out of the question. Mum and Dad’s problems went on the backburner.

 After a lot of effort from my Mum and sister they managed to get my niece an appointment at the Brompton hospital and luckily she had an attack whilst waiting to be seen. They kept her in and weren’t going to let her leave until they knew exactly what the cause of her illness was. Finally, after a few hours in theatre we discovered she had a severe chest infection but I’m pleased to say she is now back in good health. Well, nothing that a puff or two on her inhalers won’t sort out.

Mum and Dad re-booked their holiday and ended up going away at the same time Jon and I headed to Croatia. We had an amazing holiday and flew back the day after our five year anniversary on 9^th May. Jon was amazing and booked a surprise stay in a gorgeous luxury hotel to celebrate. We had a fantastic time away. On the way back from the airport, faces smiling, we pop in to see my parents. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife and I knew things weren’t going right. This frostiness carried on for weeks.

 It all hit the fan again just before we were due to attend a family wedding at the end of May. Perfect timing!  This time round my parents told my brother and sister and I was able to be honest with them. I hated lying and I felt relieved. In a strange way it brought us closer together and we talked a lot. We all shed happy tears in church when the vows were being exchanged but I knew in my case that there was sadness in those tears too. I knew in my heart that the words being exchanged between the bride and groom were somehow no longer relevant for my Mum and Dad. I looked at my Dad and he looked sad and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at my Mum. We carried on playing happy families because nobody wanted to ruin the big day and although I was pushing the thoughts aside, I knew it was only a matter of time before Mum and Dad were going to go their separate ways.

It’s funny how testing times put things into perspective. Two weeks ago my four year old niece came up with a little rash. She was taken to hospital on the Sunday night with suspected meningitis and was kept in. Three days later she was moved to the Royal Marsden, a cancer specialist hospital, with suspected leukaemia. The feeling to be told something like that is so hard to describe and although I was trying not to think the worst I just couldn’t help it. I felt so helpless and useless. I am very much a doer and a positive person but I just couldn’t pull myself together. I was an absolute wreck. It made all of the other things that I usually worry about seem so trivial.

On Thursday evening, after her bone marrow biopsy, we were told that although she is very poorly, she did not have cancerous cells in her bone marrow which meant she didn’t have leukaemia. The relief was unbelievable. It actually felt like a weight had been lifted. She is still very unwell and we are awaiting test results to see how they are going to treat her as her bone marrow has stopped working.  Seeing her in that hospital made me realise even more just how precious life is. The ward that she was in was full of very sick children that had no choice about what was happening to them. It was heart breaking to see and very humbling at the same time.

Last week Dad left home. Although he was there for the family when my niece was in hospital, my Mum knew that he wasn’t really there for her. She built up the courage and told him to leave and so he left, just like that. We are now like all of the other kids were at school but because we are grown up we don’t get weekend trips to the zoo.

Dad is now living with his platonic friend who is clearly not platonic. She has left her partner too. If only he could have been honest from the start we could have dealt with this differently. Instead, all of us have been clutching on to a glimmer of hope. I know this happens all the time but I can’t quite believe it has happened to my family. The normal happy family that others look to as being a real strong unit that sticks together. We are still sticking together and trying to be strong for my niece and my brother’s family but the next few months are not going to be easy.

Be grateful for everything that you have and be true and honest to yourself and to those around you that you love. We all make mistakes, I know that.  We are only human but at least try and learn from the mistakes and think about other people along the way too. There have been a few other hiccups the last couple of months that have contributed to Lake Teardrop such as £130 parking tickets, a 999 call and a few other things that don’t really matter. I seem to have the opposite of the midas touch at present. You’ll be relieved to know that I’m not going to bore you any further with my tales of woe but when the good things come along, make sure you grab them with both hands and smile because looking like an amphibious, bouncing, croaky creature is not a good look in any season!

I’m going to get new trainers tomorrow and crack on with my running again. I just haven’t really had the energy the last few months with all of the tears. As well as emptying your body of depression causing chemicals and hormones, crying zaps your energy too but enough with the excuses. Tuesday will be my debut at Run Dem Crew. Yes I am scared! I am no East London chick but life is there to be lived and it is important to challenge yourself even if it is a little scary at times. There is nothing stopping me apart from a few little nerves and I am going to kick them aside to get me ready for my second half marathon in September. Nothing is going to get in my way, not even a huge lake of tears or a frog with bulging eyes.

Is it bedtime yet?

This weekend has been tiring but I have loved every minute, spending time with some of the people that I love (minus the few little episodes where my darling nieces bickered about whatever they could find to bicker about).

Yesterday was Auntie K’s PJ party with my two little nieces and after some housework the little horrors arrived. Mia (the four year old) has been counting down the days since Tuesday. My poor sister has been greeted by her every morning to be told how many days left until she was going to Auntie Karleen’s. The pressure on Jon and I to give those little girls a good time was great and children are honest little creatures. I think we did ok as Ciana ( the two year old) told her mum that Auntie Karleen is fun. Mission accomplished I think.

We started off with a lunch time feast of mini fish and chips, mini burgers and hotdogs before we embarked on a mammoth cutting and sticking session. I have been complimented via facebook on my ‘amazing cutting and sticking apparatus’ provided. Well, of course! Any excuse to buy an array of coloured feathers, glitter, wobbly eyes and furry pom poms and I’m there. Mr Maker might have a Mr Maker-mobile and a TV show but he has nothing on me. Fact!

Arts and crafts packed away and PJ’s on the next game begins. We played game after game all night and we all giggled apart from a couple of minor episodes where the girls got stroppy with each other. One minute the best of friends, the next they are declaring the classic  “you’re not coming to my party” line. In little girl speak this is pretty serious (especially as neither have a birthday for at least 3 months) but it is forgotten in minutes and before you’ve even blinked they are best cousins again.

I promised them a yummy breakfast and that is exactly what they demanded when they came bounding into our bedroom early this morning. They also reminded me how we were going to feed the ducks before their Mum’s were coming to pick them up. Moral of the story: Children remember everything that you promise!

An auntie of my word, breakfast was prepared for the two little madams and then off we went to the duck pond. As much as they loved it, I have a sneaking suspicion I may have loved it just a little bit more. Just before lunchtime, we packed their bags for the umpteenth time and off they went with their mum’s and their bag of modern artworks. I was sad to see them go but I couldn’t help but breathe an incy wincy sigh of relief. Job well done by Auntie Karleen and Uncle Jon and no cuts, bruises or tears to send them home with. Judging by how tired I felt I think this should have gone down as exercise. Talking of exercise, I gave the swim on Saturday a miss and opted for some core strength work on my lounge rug while the girls looked on and giggled. My leg was still playing up and I really don’t want to get a serious injury.

No sooner had the girls gone home, my friend Louisa was here ready for our wholesome Sunday afternoon. While the shoulder of lamb sizzled in the oven, Jon recovered on the sofa and we went off for a brisk Sunday walk to Richmond Park. I have to say, Jon is a saint. After his weekend was hi-jacked by Auntie K inviting the girls over I then go and invite my friend too. He helped out with the girls and helped cook dinner too. Thank you Jon.

What an amazing afternoon Lou and I had. I love a fresh, crisp winter’s day with bright blue sky and sparkling sunshine. We started in Richmond Park and then headed along the river to Richmond. Looking at the pictures you wouldn’t believe we were in London. It’s only when you show somebody else around that you realise how special Richmond is. No wonder the Royals used to holiday here.

We indulged in a little afternoon tea and cake at the quaint Tea Box in Richmond Town Centre. If you like your tea then this little secret find is a must-have. Every detail has been taken care of from the seriously cute teaspoons with teapot detail on the handle, the timers on the table so that you can ensure your tea is brewed to perfection, the mini tongs with hands on the end to pick up your lumps of sugar, the extremely knowledgeable staff and the treasure chest that your bill is presented to you in. Everything about Tea Box is totally adorable. www.theteabox.co.uk . If you love tea you just have to go.

A brisk walk followed as the sun set and we had to play ‘beat the gate warden’. Time flies when you’re having fun and before we knew it, there was only 20 minutes until the park gates were closing and my car was still inside. I’m normally very sensible but Louisa has this special effect on me. She leads me astray and brings out my naughty side. We got back in the nick of time and made it home to enjoy a truly indulgent Sunday roast before Lou headed back to the faraway land of North of London.

With Lou gone there was nothing for it. I had to go out and run. After skipping both Parkrun yesterday and my scheduled long run today because of my niggling calf, I was desperate to get out and pound the pavement, even with a ton of Sunday roast and tea & cake in me.  Running gear on  and away I went with a little nervous anticipation. I felt I should include a picture of me heading out. It was tought tonight and I could have quite happily lazed about on the sofa.

Observations after Janathon day 9

·         Running after a massive Sunday roast is not a good idea. I spent most of the run tonight concentrating on keeping my food down

·         Running past restaurants when you are feeling slightly queasy following an indulgent Sunday roast is also not a good idea. The normally welcoming aromas of the delicious food nearly sent me over the edge

·         Running past a blocked drain when you are breathing heavily is definitely not a good idea especially after the above two observations. I was seriously close to chundering on tonight’s run

·         Having a blog to keep note of your training is a great distraction and gives you something to think about while you are running.

·         No matter how bad you feel on your run, that feeling of achievement you get when you finish always overrides the negative emotion

·         Tomorrow must be recycling collection day in Barnes as I had to dodge a truckload of Christmas trees on the pavement

·         Judging by the size of the Christmas trees on the pavement, there are lots of people in Barnes with way more money than me. Some of the badboys that I saw could rival the Griswold family Christmas tree in ‘ National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’.

I did my run tonight and it went better than I thought. My leg was ok while running and only really played up when I stopped, so I spent longer than normal stretching then gave it a bit of R.I.C.E treatment. I managed 100 sit-ups, 50 press-ups and 4 planks held for 20 seconds. The good news is that after mapping my run properly, I am pleased to note that the route that I have been recording as 4k is actually 4.75k. Although I didn’t manage to beat my Parkrun time this weekend or accomplish my long run, I am pleased with what I have achieved and my injury  isn't getting worse. Anyway, tomorrow is a new day.

I am loving life right now!

I will be honest with you. I’m a little bored of the negative facebook status updates and tweets I have seen throughout today. People moaning about the holiday being over too quick, back to work tomorrow and whatever else they can find to be miserable about . Blah blah blah! Life is too short. I am completely understanding of the ‘back to school’ feeling as I still get Sunday night fear every week but I am pretty sure there are plenty more positive things we could all be saying. I am going to buck today’s trend, be different and tell you all why I’m loving life.

On New Year’s Day 2010, my boyfriend and I were walking back to my best friend’s house in Sheen to collect our car and we had serious New Year’s Eve induced hangovers. I grew up in SW14 and I still have a special place in my heart for South West London. At the time we were living in the sticks out near Heathrow. I was keen to move back. My friends are here, my family are here and I just love the area but I didn’t want to be seen as the bossy girlfriend that moves her boyfriend to live next door to everybody in her life. Much to my delight when I asked Jon what he thought of the area he declared he would quite like to live here. Green light! By the time we’d rocked up to Lucy’s we had given ourselves 6 months to find a new home in Mortlake or Barnes. Wahoo!

We moved to Barnes in May and it’s the best thing we have done in a long while. Running gives you a lot of time to think and whilst out on my day 3 Janathon run I had a little think about why I love Barnes. There are so many things that I like it would be really hard to say it all in to one post. Here are just a few of the things that helped me through my super painful 6k run today.

I love being close to my friends and family in amazing surroundings. When it snowed I went to Richmond Park with my sister, boyfriend and niece. Richmond Park is beautiful and is one of my favourite places. If you haven’t been then go. The Isabella Plantation is just amazing in Spring time. I’ve put some of our Richmond Park snow pics below.

I love living close to Barnes pond and to my best friend Lucy. We also took advantage of the snow and hung out at Barnes Pond to build a snow deer with her husband Paul. I like to be different! Excuse the ugly stain down my jacket. Among the excitement, I managed to spill coffee all down myself. Ihave mentioned before that I am a bit of a secret geek. I’m a wanna be birdwatcher (yes,really) so any opportunity to do a bit of twitching I’m there. Check out the coots between Lucy and I. If we met it's probably not the first thing you'd guess was a hobby of mine.

When I was running today, I have to admit I did have to stop to stretch my poor legs. They were screaming at me by the time I got to the Mall in Chiswick after 5 days of running. In fact they were screaming at me before I even left home. I was going to go out straight after breakfast but my bed was too much of a temptation. It was my last chance for a lay-in so lay in I did and finally set off at 1:00 this afternoon. Today’s run was tough but I kept telling myself how lucky I am to have the opportunity to run in such a beautiful area. Below is Barnes Bridge where I start my run and the other picture is one I took today when I reached Hammersmith Bridge. This is the halfway point in my 6k run and when the bridge comes into view it makes me smile. When I saw the Heron I just had to stop to take a snap. I kept on straight away though with no walk breaks but I have to admit it was really hard.

When I got to Lonsdale road that runs parallel to the towpath, I was so close to stopping for a break but Stonebridge, Put ‘em high came on my I-Pod. It’s Lucy’s favourite song and gave me the boost I needed to power on through. I felt so good when Barnes Bridge was in sight and when I finished I took a moment to just sit and look at the river. Despite my sore muscles I was beaming from ear to ear.

When you glance to the left of Barnes Bridge you see the White Hart Pub. I think it's actually officially called ye White Hart but I feel a but stupid saying that. It’s a fab pub and they are on Twitter too.(@WhiteHartBarnes) Barnes has some great pubs that are brilliant for catching up with friends and I even managed to get my Mum and Dad down to the White Hart with my sister and friends on Christmas eve to have a birthday drink with me. Mum and Dad aren't your typical pub type so it was great to have them there.

Being a wanna be twitcher I love that the London Wetlands centre is just down the road from where I live. I persuaded Jon to come for a walk there this afternoon as we are actually members. It really is incredible that such a nature reserve exists in London and we saw swans, diving ducks and even a crane. They have an ‘introduction to birdwatching’ course in February  and I am seriously tempted.Despite my two  bird handbooks, my twitcher knowledge is just not up to scratch.

I love living in a place where you know people in the community. When out and about I normally bump into somebody I know. Despite being in London, Barnes has a real village feel. We even have a farmers market on a Saturday and it’s quite likely you’ll catch me there salivating over the amazing food.  After the wetland centre walk today I bumped into one of the Team Bangs on the Run girls out on her run. Gemma was going for it. Another thing I love is seeing people with a target and working hard to acheive it. Seeing all the the Team Bangs on the Run updates and faboulous support we have receivedso far has been great. Thank you to everybody that has supported us and donated so far. We really do appreciate it and it is definitely helping me with my training. 

Another thing that I am loving right now is my Kindle that was a joint present from my brother and sister. It is amazing! I love the way that that you can turn the pages at the click of a button even when you are holding it in just one hand. The final thing that makes me really happy is that despite being ill for most of it, I managed to have a brilliant Christmas spending time with our  friends and family. I even managed to squeeze in a 'Christmas day' dinner with my friends on 28th December.

 I could go on and on here about things that I love but I think this is enough love for one post. Come on guys, before you post another miserable and negative status have a good hard think. I don’t want to sound preachy but there will always be somebody that is in a more unfortunate position than yourself. Think of something positive to say, embrace life and if you are unhappy then try and change things for the better.